How Photoshopped is your Leadership?

I’ve noticed a refreshing trend on Instagram and similar social media in the last year or so. It involves celebrities/influencers posting the “made for instagram” photo and beside it a more real photo (without all the tricks, lights, poses, flexes and photoshopping). I acknowledge and commend the courage it takes to do that, particularly for people whose career revolves around their ‘look’.

The impact of this is really positive in two ways. First, for the person themselves, it can be liberating finding that showing more of the real you (wrinkles and all) actually increases engagement (likes, follows, sponsorships, etc.) from your audience. Second, for the rest of us mere mortals out there, it can ease the pressure a lot of people put on themselves to become slaves to the ideal (whether it be beauty, fitness, fashion, wealth, etc).

A lot of leaders I have worked with over the years struggle with finding the right balance in authenticity. “How much of the real me can I show and still be a leader”? “What if the real me is flawed, cracked and very, very imperfect”. The desire to be seen as “proper leadership material” results in a lot of ‘photoshopping and mask wearing’. Before they walk out the door to work, these leaders grab the superhero cape and mask. The pressure is on to be seen to be:

• Always coping and positive
• Never having a bad day or emotional moment
• Accepting and embracing of all change
• Always on board with every corporate initiative
• Working long hours
• Exceptionally groomed
• Achievement oriented
• Results driven
• Visionary, motivating and inspiring

The main downsides for the leader who does this are:

• A hell of a lot of self-imposed extra pressure – It takes a lot of energy to keep the superhero mask on all day. It is draining
• It is not sustainable – frequently associated with burnout and depression
• After a while you ‘lose touch with who the real you is’ – you can become adrift and disconnected from your values
• Lower engagement and connection with your team – leaders who try to be perfect don’t show vulnerability. Without some vulnerability, trust within the team is very hard to achieve
• Low psychological safety/negative culture – as a leader you are influencing culture (whether intentionally or unintentionally). By showing that it is not okay to be anything other than a perfect, fully functioning human being, you are driving real conversations around wellbeing and mental health underground
• You don’t get supported – by always appearing “perfect and in control”, others assume you are doing okay so don’t offer up support or encouragement.

I actually don’t advocate 100% openness, transparency and authenticity. I don’t think it’s realistic or achievable. In fact it can be quite destructive. However, a little vulnerability goes a long way when it comes to leadership. If you are concerned that your mask has been up for too long, try the following:

1. Take a moment to reflect on what’s important to you – your purpose and values
2. Complete a meaningful personality or leadership profile (author bias here) and answer it honestly to get some insight into the person behind the mask
3. Ask yourself – “what’s the worst that could happen if my team saw the ‘less-than-perfect’ version of me”?
4. Give yourself permission to ‘not be okay’ sometimes. Leadership is a tough gig and all leaders struggle with confidence, identity, stress and failure. After all, leaders are human too.
5. Do a quick “check in” at your next team meeting. Go first and tell people how you are really going at this moment – watch for the positive ripple effect
6. If you are the leader of a leadership team, then this is even more important – repeat step 5 and encourage others to do the same within their own teams

So, take a breath, (metaphorically) show a few wrinkles, gently lower that mask and notice the difference in your own and your team’s engagement as they connect with the real you.

Interested in exploring your own leadership identity or need some help in removing the mask? – reach out to me